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GWAR Announces New Album Title, Surprisingly It's Not About Crack

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by: Kevin Juliff

At the sorta halfway point of Gwar's special two-year long 25th Anniversary Slay-a-Bration, Slave Pit Inc. and Metal Blade Records are proud to announce the title of GWAR's new album, Gwar's Bloody Pit of Horror. Surprisingly, Oderus, frontnam or ugh creature thing could not disclose any more information because he fell face first into a big pile of Columbia's finest.

Realizing his addiction to all things crack-cocaine, Oderus has really been at a loss for words. His first public confession came during my latest Instrument Of Death interview with the vocalist. During that interview, which took place over a month ago, I asked Oderus about Gwar's new material but all he did was break out into tears, it seems the life of a mutant crack head bent on world domination is surprisingly hard. It's good to see he has gotten his life together, or at least stop snorting the wacky dust long enough to issue this statement:

"Our new album is called Bloody Pit of Horror, We are fully aware that there is a movie of the same title, I assure you it has nothing to do with it, save the title, which we stole from them. But you see, we're calling it "GWAR's Bloody Pit of Horror", and that's a little different, so hopefully we won't get sued! The new album is reportedly "heavy as fuck", and features songs like "Hail to Genocide", "Storm is Coming", and "Tick-Tits".  "That's a song about a chick whose tits are covered in ticks…big fat gray puffy ones"

In other Gwar news, the Slave Pit, Gwar's pit of slaves, located in Richmond, Va. (because of the excellent crack and large art school), is busily preparing for the re-awakening of an ancient Gwar tradition, the GWAR-B-Que! Back in the early days of Gwar, the slaves used to throw parties in the Pit in the hopes of attracting helpless women. These parties grew in size and fury as other bands and insane artists got involved…but then just stopped happening…

"Because of 9/11, man…" said Slave Pit spokesman James Nasium.

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But the GWAR-B-Q is back! On August 8th, 2010, at the Bike Lot in Richmond, Va.! Check Here for full details, directions, and more.

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